Showing posts from July, 2017

Playing to your strengths

So when I first started working on my social skills it was all about the cold approach. The 'community' back then gained a perverse pleasure out of making things as hard on themselves at possible.

There's certainly something to gain from treating it like a sport. Training yourself in hard situations to build up your skills. But I list sight of why I was doing this in the first place.

The thing you have to know about the industry of men's social skills training is that the top teachers love this lifestyle in the same way that the top sports people love their game. They live it an breath it. But it's a rare person that loves it that much.

There are only so many hours in a day, week, year and in terms of a bang for my buck that way of living isn't for me.

Look if  you're starting from zero and you need to build up a basic competency then you should live that life for a year. But once you have a basic competency think about how you can integrate the new behavio…

Compensating for introversion with social media

I think there's little to argue against extroverts being at an advantage in many social situations. Connecting with a higher volume of people is very useful whether it's in business or your personal life.

But introverts can compensate for not being as active in making social connections with the help of social media.

I myself am a creative person and I can use Instagram, YouTube and FaceBook to share the process and results of my creativity. I can tell a story about who I am that can reach more people than I would normally have the energy to keep in touch with.

This is not an excuse to sit in your basement and only communicate online. Rather it's a way to enhance your standing in the real world in a way that can be done on your own schedule.

But you must have something to share. Maybe it's your cooking skills, the paintings you make, the business you run or the sports activities you take part in.

You have to be doing something in the real world.


This blog is a place for me to collect my memories, thoughts and experiences of life as an Introvert Sigma.

I've always been hesitant to put labels on myself as I'm conscious that it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. But after many years of improving my social skills, developing in my career and pushing out of my comfort zone, at the core I think my personality has not changed much.

I'm not saying that much credence should be given to online personality tests but I always score as a strong INTJ no matter what kinds of 'extroverted' skills I acquire or experiences I gather.

So that's where 'Introvert' comes from.

'Sigma' is used in the world of men's dating advice to describe the loner that stands outside of the traditional hierarchy. If the Alpha is the captain of the football team then the Sigma is the James Dean character. The rebel who does what he wants and doesn't care to be a leader. For me this doesn't just apply to dating an…