Playing to your strengths

So when I first started working on my social skills it was all about the cold approach. The 'community' back then gained a perverse pleasure out of making things as hard on themselves at possible.

There's certainly something to gain from treating it like a sport. Training yourself in hard situations to build up your skills. But I list sight of why I was doing this in the first place.

The thing you have to know about the industry of men's social skills training is that the top teachers love this lifestyle in the same way that the top sports people love their game. They live it an breath it. But it's a rare person that loves it that much.

There are only so many hours in a day, week, year and in terms of a bang for my buck that way of living isn't for me.

Look if  you're starting from zero and you need to build up a basic competency then you should live that life for a year. But once you have a basic competency think about how you can integrate the new behaviours into your ideal life.

Only a small percentage of people love spending hours and hours of their week roaming bars, clubs and malls on the prowl.

I can be honest that if it was purely about racking up numbers then it's the way to go.

Tyler / Owen from Real Social Dynamics said it himself. You need to approach people with a full cup Fulfilled and happy with yourself and not needing anything from anyone.

Living that life fills Tyler's cup, but it drains mine.

So I decided to go down my own path of trying to create a life that accentuates my strengths and mitigates for my weaknesses.

I'm a performance artist. I get up on stage and practice my craft for people. I'm so glad I never stopped practicing my craft, even when I was fully immersed in 'working on my social skills'.

When it works, it's great. People see you on stage, you get the social proof is there, introducing yourself is easy. But I'm not famous yet and the audiences are often small. I'd say nine times out of ten there are no prospects for me. Which is why I'm working on the social media angle.

But it fills my cup which means that when I do meet someone at an event or through friends I'm radiating a deep core contentedness that comes from living life on a path of my choosing. Something that's beyond day to day happiness or satisfaction. People, especially women, pick up on that somehow.

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